The Newest New Yorker

2009-10-02T22:17:00.001-04:00

Oh hello dusty ol' NYC blog. I'm moving back to NYC tomorrow. Maaama's missed you.

2009-05-26T14:10:00.000-04:00

2008-05-29T10:20:00.001-04:00

I refuse to pay $900.00 for a pair of 'designer glasses' -- yeah I'm talking to you Gramercy Optical.

2008-05-21T18:54:00.007-04:00

Now I'm not one to speculate BUT.....

I'm staying late at work all by myself and...

"Let's Get it On" and "Sexual Healing," by Marvin Gaye are BLASTING from the closed door of one of the offices.

erm......

2008-05-10T20:54:00.005-04:00

Operation Clear Conscience and a Sweet Sweet Ass: 1st month Update:

I became Vegan on April 3rd and I measured and weighed myself on April 9th and remeasured and weighed myself today May, 10th. I am 10.3 inches smaller and 9 pounds lighter than I was one month ago!

Thanks Big Daddy G, Bikram Yoga and turning Vegan!!!

I will give another update on Month 2!

2008-05-10T15:23:00.001-04:00

is it weired that i dream of cheese pizza now that i'm vegan? i never dreamed of chesse pizza when i was able to eat it. le siiigh.

2008-05-07T10:25:00.004-04:00

NYC Subway Stories:

So, one of my bosses came in this morning flustered about the morning train ride’s goings on. Apparently a pervert on the train took out his unmentionables and started rubbing on a female passenger. Well, what Pervert did know what that Female Passenger was not having ANY of that…so she turned around and clocked him. Then she continued beating him up until the next stop where she got off to report him. Female Passenger is my HERO! GO GIRL. GO ON WITH YOUR BAD SELF. If I was there I would have been right behind her giving air punches. Ha.

I have a subway story of my own…not as disturbing…but pretty interesting. A few months ago, I was in transit on the train reading the headline on a passenger’s newspaper. Well, said passenger was apparently non too happy I was reading his newspaper (that was wide open and right in front of my face) so his logical solution for me to stop reading his newspaper was for him to start EATING the newspaper. Erm…… it aint that serious boo. He continued eating the newspaper until a concerned passenger notified the conductor and once Newspaper Eater- Upper realized that they were contacting the police he ran off the train yelling “I’m NOOOT GOING BACK THERE!!!!!”

OOH NYC. Does anybody have any NYC Subway stories they want to share?

*********************************************************
-- my old So Bronx Co Worker Dan the Man shares:

Ha!
I've become so numb to subway incidents that my brain doesn't even store them anymore. There are the regulars, the saxophone player with tin foil antennae who says he's from outerspace and needs your donations to help him build a new space ship to get back home. There's the guy with the routine about how he pays $2 rent for his house, while we pay $2000 dollars a month for a house that doesn't even go anywhere, and then tells the seated passengers to get off his couch.
But my favorite recent incident was actually on a bus. I was on the M60 bus that goes down 125th St., and this guy snuck in the back door of the bus, appearing otherwise normal. About ten minutes later in the packed but silent bus he starts screaming with a big smile on his face "Heyyyy! I know, right? You know, I think they broke up, but they were a great band, right lady?" (he looked like he was talking to someone on the other end of the bus, but he really wasn't). "What was that song they sang?" Then his eyes got really wide, and he started dancing, bumping into people singing. "AH HAH I LIKE COOOOOKIIIIEEES! AH HAH I LIKE COOOOKIIIIEEEES! Aw, man. They were amazing!"
As luck would have it, we got off at the same stop, and I made sure to walk behind him. This was the best part. Every time a man would be walking towards him, he would stare at them, and they always noticed, and prepared for war getting halfway through their windup when he would say "Hey man how ya doin'?" Then they'd immediately disarm and say something like "Alright, man, how're you?" He did it to like 15 guys as we walked down the street! It was pretty hilarious.
Pretty tame in comparison, and maybe you had to be there, but it was funny.

*************************************************************

THANKS FOR SHARING DAN!!

2008-05-03T15:00:00.010-04:00

Vegan: One Month In:

So, today is my one month anniversary of becoming vegan and I wanted to post some links to some sites that have really interesting studies and information that have helped my journey one month in.

This is an amazing NY Times article that talks about the "nutritionalization" of society and how false medical abstracts can influence the consumer at the drop of a hat. (Author Michael Pollan's general conclusion and first sentence is: "Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants."):

Unhappy Meals

Compassionate Cooks has a wealth of information as well as pod casts that are off the chain in terms of sharing vegan knowledge:

Compassionate Cooks

All About Soy -- I appreciate this link because it sub-links to studies done by medical professionals -- especially with all the brouhaha about soy being evil.

All About Soy

Some favorite food links (I hate to cook, so I pretty much just stare at the pictures whislt daydreaming about someone making me a a vegan cupcake shaped like a ball of yarn):

Post Punk Kitchen
Vegan Yum Yum

Eating out in NYC as a vegan is not hard with these DIED and gone to HEAVEN vegan/vegetarian restaurants.

Red Bamboo
Curlys
Zen Palate

These links (from co-worker S! thanks!) give great easy green living tips for the eco-conscious average Jane/Joe.

Gaiam
Ideal Bite

I just wanted to share!

If you have any feedback, books, information or links (both pro and con) please let me know!

Thanks!

xxoo,

elidia

2008-04-25T16:44:00.004-04:00

Real Female Beauty:

I’ve been thinking a lot about female beauty lately, mainly as my body begins to (slowly, but surely) change—becoming vegan, doing a 3 month detox, as well as bikram yoga is NOT FOR NOTHING YA’LL. Nevertheless, my standards for female beauty are changing as well. I was never told I was beautiful growing up so I had to base what I thought beauty was on external factors such as peers, movies, TV and magazines. No wonder I had an eating disorder and low self esteem. However, as God heals my heart and restores my spirit from the hurts of my past he is showing me what real female beauty is.

Real beauty is my 72 year old yoga instructor Georgia, with salt and pepper hair who smiles with her eyes and talks with a laugh. When doing the spinal twist yoga pose she sings “Let’s Twist Again” by Chubby Checker while dancing –which makes everyone laugh and forget they are doing ridiculously hot yoga. She is captivating, glowing and beautiful.

Real beauty is my Professor friend Kara with her buzz haircut and bright, mismatched thrift-shop clothes, who laughs with her belly and who challenges her students to think for themselves. When she talks with you, she looks you straight in the eyes and makes you feel like the only person on the planet. She is luminous, charming and beautiful.

Real beauty is Elaine, the vibrant secretary with the spunky earrings at my college who always asked how I was doing, and then stopped whatever she was doing to listen to my response. It was never a stalk question for her, she genuinely wanted to know. She would always have a stash of snacks available so that the students would never go hungry. That kind of motherly, unselfish love is beautiful.

Real beauty is a God who delights in his daughters and brings into fruition our long-ago forgotten secret dreams.

After a lifetime of stumbling in the dark, confused, lost and feeling anything but beautiful—I am humbled, grateful and in awe of a God who turned on the light in my spirit, so that I may recognize real beauty, not only in myself, but in other women, people and the world around me.

Yes, Sarena is right, 2008 is the year of total restoration indeed.

2008-04-11T14:39:00.004-04:00

BEST POST ON THE BEST NEW SITE EVER!!!

2008-04-11T14:03:00.002-04:00

MYSPACE FRIEND REQUEST: Playerican would like to be added as one of your friends!

erm.....NO.

2008-04-10T22:56:00.007-04:00

Random Things I Learned Today:

1. The free red Virgin Airline socks that you get when you take a plane overseas totally disintegrate when you wear them in real life. By the time I got to my 8pm Bikram Yoga class, they were paper thin and my feet were pretty much dyed red. I mean, COM'ON I already stand out in a class full of models and athletes in bikinis and speedos (it's HOT up in there ya'll) but RED FEET on a WHITE TOWEL?...Maybe nobody noticed.

2. I will pretend I am creepy stalker just so I will not blow a birthday prank. Lemmme explain...today is co-worker A's b-day (Side Note: it is also my brother's 25th b-day too!!! HAPPY B-DAY BROTHER!). Anywhoo, yesterday I thought it would be funny to change his screen saver to something obnoxious and birthday related before he got in in the morning and turned on his work computer. (His computer is locked by the by but my boss R is homie G's with IT and had them unlock his computer...they would have said no if I asked so THANKS R!!!) Sooo, to make a long story that is not even that funny EVEN longer, I found the perfect pics via the world wide inter-web and was trying to figure out how to arrange them when A walks by my desk and says, "HEY! Why am I on your computer?" and I said "gooo away stupid BOY!" OK, no I didn't but he was all "no really why do you have these pictures of me" and I was all "ahhh crap" and my co-workers were all pretending to work leaving me to think up a lie all on my own.

ME: (with a straight face): "I sorta stalk you."

A: "No really...why do you have pictures of me?"

ME: "No really...I like stalking you on the internet sometimes."

And then he looked at me weired and changed the subject.

HA....but today he got the little prank and was like, "uhh did you change my password too? b/c I can't get in."

Me: "I'm not REALLY stalking you...blame that on IT."

3. I also learned that I have zero tolerance for skinny male dancers in my yoga class complaining about their AND I QUOTE "meaty thighs." OH REALLY. GAG me w/ a spoon yo.

2008-04-08T17:24:00.002-04:00

I love this site:

http://xkcd.com

How Stereotypes start:

2008-03-27T13:32:00.004-04:00

Yesterday at the Union Square's Farmer's Market there were signs advertising A Real Farmer! that was going to be there in person. It was my lunch break and one of the first sunny days we've had since Winter ended (YEAH Spring!) so I mosyed on over to where the Farmer was and lo-and be-hold there were a swarm of New Yorkers around him

-- aaaaaall excited---

"oooooooooo! a REAL LIVE FARMER!"

hil.ar.ious.

2008-03-23T13:15:00.001-04:00

I am going to have to do something very difficult tomorrow. I have not had the strength to do it before now, but this needs to be done.

2008-03-23T08:35:00.009-04:00

Peace Pipes and Bibles.

Happy Easter ya’ll!

Oh wait.

I’m from Los Angeles not Dallas.

Happy Easter dudes!

YEAH West Coast 80’s vernacular still being used today!

Anywhoozies, I was nice and asleep in my bed—it is currently 7:30am on a Sunday and I went to sleep at 3am but something was BUGGING me so much I needed to get up and write it down. It all started yesterday when I saw this picture on a Christian website:

that had this caption:

"Fun Fact: The Pilgrims were radical non-conformists who, unlike the Puritans who maintained their membership to the Church of England, believed worship should be organized independently of the trappings, traditions and organization of a central state church. The above picture is of Pilgrim leader John Carver and Massasoit, leader of the Wampanoag Confederacy, sharing a peace pipe."

But before I get to the picture I want to share what I believe. I am a Christian. People say, of course you are, your parents are both Christians, so it makes total sense. My response to that will forever be ERM…NO. My upbringing was a living nightmare filled poor choices on my “Christian” parents and “Christian” step-parents part and if anything I believe in God DESPITE what the people who raised me believe.

That being said, I am not a conservative person. People seem to think Christians are all from the South are all Republicans, love Bush and hate abortions and gay-marriage.

Unless you count Southern California as part of the South, then ERM…NO to all of that.

But please get me started on abortions and gay folks since most Christians wont touch these topics with a ten-foot pole unless they are saying it is wrong. Abortion. I don’t believe in it…but I will fight with every breath in my body for a woman’s right to chose. I would NEVER impose my morals on somebody else…and the founding fathers chose separation of church and a state for a reason. Gay-marriage. That one is tricky. I am fully aware of what the Bible says—the New Testament Bible at that and I believe that a lot of Christians believe gays are going to Hell anyway. But that is pure ignorance. We ALL have fallen short of the Glory of God and ALL would be Hell bound if it were not for God’s grace. That includes gay people too ya’ll. I mean dudes. A lot of Christians don’t really know any gay people. It’s easy to judge people you don’t know. Or really know--I’ll give an analogy. Just because you have one black friend does not mean you understand inner-city poverty. In addition, although I struggle to see why anybody would want to get married in the first place, I support gay –marriage because I support the fundamental belief--and the foundation of American Democracy—that all men are created equal.

But this blog entry is entitled Peace pipes and Bibles. WTF? You may ask. YES. This is my real struggle. Some Christians are so so busy converting the gay folk and the pregnant girls…but that is not what my Jesus loving heart struggles with. I have brown, white red and black colors (in that order) running through my veins.

YEAH mixed people!

And because of that, "Manifest Destiny" bothers me to my very CORE. And everyone else seems to have moved on. Peace pipes are just as much as my culture as Bibles are and my Cherokee—raised on a reservation in Oklahoma—Peace pipe smoking grandma would roll over in her red ground grave if I said that Manifest Destiny was God’s will. (The fact that my grandma is even from Oklahoma and not Georgia because my peeps had to go on a little hike called the Trail of Tears bothers me too—but I won’t open up THAT CAN OF WORMS.)

This is what I really struggle with. WHERE IS ALL OF THIS COMING FROM ELIDIA?

Seeing that stupid picture! Siiigh.

But back to the picture:

When I saw this picture yesterday along with the caption and it was all, yeaaah we’re progressive Christians! But all I kept on thinking was did he smoke that peace pipe before or after giving dem brown folks small pox infested blankets? I don’t have an answer to this…this is just something that really bothers me…so…

ya'll can put that in your pipe and smoke it.

That's right. I'm back to ya'll.

Feedback would be great::::

hit me up here:

ducontra04 (at) yahoo.com

2008-03-19T16:04:00.003-04:00

Obama is one smart cookie.

Read or watch his Speech on Race here.

This man knows how to get to the heart of the touchiest of subjects in such a honest yet tender way.

I would love to see what would happen with him in office.

2008-03-19T15:47:00.007-04:00

Happiness is…stomping to work this morning during the thunderstorm knowing that my toesies would stay nice and dry because of these bad boys:

2008-03-14T12:15:00.005-04:00

For all you science geeks out there:

Today is National "Talk Like a Physicist Day!"

WHY?

"Because we're at least as cool as pirates, that's why."

I LOVE IT!

and

I LOVE HIM!"

Any 71 year old teacher who risks his life for the love of teaching Physics (confident the Laws of Physics will not kill him) is so adorbs to me.

That's right people.

Elidia loves math and science and is not ashamed to admit it.

2008-03-10T11:33:00.001-04:00

So, an e-mail was sent out last week to our clients asking them if their titles have changed to let us know so we can update our databook. One of the clients wants his title changed from General Manager to Deputy General Manager.

This is not a joke.

Ummm, does he want me to call him Sherriff too?

On another note, my UCB Improv 301 show on Saturday was so much fun! It was pretty packed even with the crazy rainy weather and flood alerts.

LOVE to those who came out to support!

Although, afterwards we all went out, and I promise you I did not have that much to drink nor was in a restaurant that had ketchup packets, yet I woke up the next morning with like 30 ketchup packets in my purse. I am assuming some prankster put them there as a joke, because the other, more ridonkulous option was that I did it myself and have absolutely no recollection of doing so.

2008-03-06T13:29:00.002-05:00

I don’t know why I found this hilarious but my work group got a high priority orange alert e-mail from a VIP client with only this as the message:

Who are you?

I think the real question is good sir, (in my best hookahed up Caterpillar from Alice in Wonderland imitation voice, “WHO…are…YOU???”

2008-03-04T13:13:00.005-05:00

For some reason whenever I feel BLAH, nostalgic / melancholy songs like Sarah McLachlan’s Building A Mystery make me feel better. Isn’t that weird? Shouldn't happy songs like R.E.M’s Shiny Happy People make me feel less blah? I am such a backwards person.

Also, I had a new Bikram Yoga instructor this morning and he was so cute I had no idea he was talking to me--for like five minutes!--because I was busy simply staring at him.

I am such a doof.

A backwards –tongued tied around cute boys-doof.

But, I’m kinda ok with this.

Here are the song lyrics:

Sarah McLachlan – Building A Mystery (HOW can you not love this song?)

You come out at night
That's when the energy comes
And the dark side's light
And the vampires roam
You strut your rasta wear
And your suicide poem
And a cross from a faith that died
Before Jesus came
You're building a mystery

You live in a church
Where you sleep with voodoo dolls
And you won't give up the search
For the ghosts in the halls
You wear sandals in the snow
And a smile that won't wash away
Can you look out the window
Without your shadow getting in the way?

You're so beautiful
With an edge and charm
but so careful
When I'm in your arms

Cause you're working
Building a mystery
Holding on and holding it in
Yeah you're working
Building a mystery
And choosing so carefully

You woke up screaming aloud
A prayer from your secret god
You feed off our fears
And hold back your tears, oh
Give us a tantrum
And a know it all grin
Just when we need one
When the evening's thin

You're a beautiful
A beautiful fucked up man
You're setting up your
Razor wire shrine

Cause you're working
Building a mystery
Holding on and holding it in
Yeah you're working
Building a mystery
And choosing so carefully

Ooh you're working
Building a mystery
Holding on and holding it in
Yeah you're working
Building a mystery
And choosing so carefully

Yeah you're working
Building a mystery
Holding on and holding it in
Yeah you're working
Building a mystery
And choosing so carefully

You're building a mystery

2008-03-03T17:32:00.001-05:00

I hate doctors. No really. I have had a ridiculous pain in my right heel and a swollen ankle in said heel since mid November and I refused to go to the doctor because I hate’emhate’emhate’em. Instead I just mastered the art of the discreet limp. But then I googled blog-clot this morning and got freaked out b/c it said you can die if it’s not treated (BAH!) so off I went this afternoon. The doctor laughed at the idea that I thought I had a blood clot because I have excellent circulation (yeah Bikram Yoga!) and was puzzled by my refusal to see a doctor about the intense pain for upwards of what? More than four months? Is that right? Holy Crap I am stubborn. Anywhoo…the doc says no blood clots—I have Plantar Fasciitis and a super Novocain-ed up right footsie—from a cortisone shot with a needle so deep it hit bone. TMI? Yeah..try being the patient who had to watch, pop some meds and then go back to work.

good times.

2008-02-29T14:26:00.007-05:00

I'm way too excited about this:

Here is the full trailer for the Sex and the City Movie!!!

and I own the Fuchsia Complete Series Collector's Giftset...not even gonna lie.

Hey guys... I never pretended to be cool. eep!

2008-02-29T11:46:00.000-05:00

Some nights a girl just needs to ditch yoga class, go home and eat chocolate cake whilst watching crap TV with Smashley and Smelli. Last nights was one of those nights.

2008-02-22T00:22:00.002-05:00

My darling friend R calls me at 6:30 Thursday evening:

R: Do you want to have dinner tonight?

Me: No, I can’t I’m going to yoga in 30 minutes.

…Chattychattychatwordswordswordschattychattychat…

…5, 10 minutes later…

Me: Hmmm…maybe I should skip yoga and have dinner with you.

R: Well here’s the thing. My boss gave me two tickets to see The Color Purple tonight. And BeBe Winans [one of the headliners] gave him the tickets so the seats are amazing. Plus the show is closing soon so I was wondering if you wanted to do that?

Me: WHAT? Why didn’t you open with that? I mean I look scruffy and homeless because I’m about to go to yoga and all…but forget yoga I want to hear sing BeBe sing!

R: Well, you seemed committed to going to yoga and I didn’t want you to have to choose and then feel bad.

-- --

MORAL OF THE STORY: two FREE tickets—worth 120 dollars each—given by the headliner himself—with amazing seats—to a closing Broadway musical TRUMPS doing Hatha Yoga 105 degree heat for 90 minutes ANYDAY. In elidia’s book anyway. So always open with that.

Note i: I use to sing WITH BeBe back in the day with my choir in Los Angeles.
Note ii: That does not mean I sing LIKE BeBe. Truth be told, I was placed in the middle/back so my voice could “blend”.
Note: iii: The musical made my heart smile.

2008-02-21T14:11:00.001-05:00

In other work related news, my boss was on a conference call and asked co-worker S something and I guess she was taking too long to answer because my boss then said impatiently, "S you're delaying my plan for world domination by five minutes."

2008-02-21T12:13:00.002-05:00

Remember the TV show Family Matters? It was my favorite show back in the day. Remember the Western episode? Where Aunt Rachel is a madam/showgirl and sings "Rick-a-Shay Rachel"? No? Well, I do. I can actually sing the whole song.

Anywhoo, due to my unhealthy obsession with all things Family Matters I have different cast pictures as my background on my work computer. So, my office messenger guy T comes by today and sees one of the pictures.

Now I love T because he is this sweet old guy who always asks me questions but never gets my answers…but then again few do.

Le Sigh.

One of these days he's going to stop asking me questions all together.

-- --

T: Why do you have a picture of a black man as your background?

Me: That's Steve Urkel!

T: Who?

ME: From the TV Show Family Matters?!

T: What?

Me: Carl Winslow? Laura? Aunt Rachel?

T: Oh. So here's your mail. Bye.

2008-02-19T12:35:00.001-05:00

Once upon a time my father and step-father did bad things to me.
And my mother--fully aware--did nothing. This broke my heart.

So I had to make the difficult choice to move far far away by myself and find my own path to heal. This broke her heart.

But it was the best choice for me.

And now that we are 3,000 miles apart we have somehow figured out a way to forgive, re-connect and support each other.

The people who know this ask me how.

I don’t really know. It’s an on-going process. Lots of distance, Lots of prayers, lot of grace, and lots of faith in a God who is bigger than our circumstances. And lots of love.

I’m sharing this with you because I know a lot of you are hurting. You tell me sad things and I don’t know how to respond. I tell you that you’re in my prayers and leave it at that. However, I need to say one more thing because I know this much is true: the same God who holds me in the palm of his hand, the same God -- loves you too.

email me! you know you wanna: heydreamergirl@yahoo.com

2008-02-15T16:11:00.001-05:00

I walked back to my desk and heard C in London talking and talking and talking via the speakerphone on co-worker B’s desk. The only problem was B was not there. Nobody was there. So, when I passed by, I stopped, leaned over the speakerphone and asked C (in London) who she was talking to (here in NYC). She said B. I said B is not here. C was not happy about that little revelation.

email me! you know you wanna: heydreamergirl@yahoo.com

2008-02-15T05:24:00.000-05:00

My mom told me that there would be a surprise for me when I got home on Valentine’s Day. So, I get home around 9:30pm and there is a box on the table that my roommate says she thinks is mine. I say whoo-hooo! and open it up. Fancy Valentine’s Day Package! Hooray! I open up the cookies inside offer them to one of my roommates and one of our friends who is over hanging out. I eventually get to the card that reads:

Happy Valentine’s Day Brian

I LOVE YOU!!!!

Love Always, Jessica.

OOOPS!

Now, I have NO idea who Brian is and I have NO idea who Jessica is but…thanks for the cookies! You’re the best!

email me! you know you wanna: heydreamergirl@yahoo.com

2008-02-08T13:33:00.001-05:00

My boss just said that N, "ran into the office like her pubic hairs were ablaze."

email me! you know you wanna: heydreamergirl@yahoo.com

2008-02-07T11:09:00.001-05:00

Coworker N:

“I did not know South Africa was a country. I just thought it was the South of Africa.”

siiigh.

email me! you know you wanna: heydreamergirl@yahoo.com

2008-02-06T11:21:00.003-05:00

My boss just said Dante’s 7th level of hell is reserved for whoring developers.

*edit: I am NOT a developer!

email me! you know you wanna: heydreamergirl@yahoo.com

2008-01-28T13:20:00.001-05:00

So R from Marketing stopped by to talk to me about Project blahblahblah....or, to be more accurate, he stopped by to talk to my chest. I was like "HEY! Eyes up here buddy." R looked confused. I guess my boobies were not making enough sense.

sigh.

men.

email me! you know you wanna: heydreamergirl@yahoo.com

2008-01-25T14:02:00.000-05:00

Psychotic Toilets of DOOM! Next to my job!

I guess I am the last know about stuff—but (and thanks IRC for the heads up) NYC has new public toilets. HOORAY! They cost 25 cents for 15 minutes and "after 12 minutes of use, an acoustic alarm and red flashing lights go off for three minutes before the door opens."

I'm SORRY WHAT? Some kid is so going to be permanently traumatized. BAH!

After this, the doors close and the bathroom is sterilized within an inch of its life.

Also, it is imperative to mention that the maximum capacity is 450 pounds.. erm for one toilet / person? Maybe I have a dirty mind but

bow-chick-y-wow-wow.

Here is the Press Release ((and I hope the ripping of toilet paper as oppose to the cutting of ribbon for the grand opening is duly noted))!

email me! you know you wanna: heydreamergirl@yahoo.com

2008-01-22T16:03:00.001-05:00

I just read Steve Martin’s autobiography last night. I know that I should be focusing on all of the profound stuff he is saying but all I can think is holy crap that man got a lot of action!

This is the same goofball from Father of the Bride and The Three Amigos!

email me! you know you wanna: heydreamergirl@yahoo.com

2008-01-22T15:06:00.000-05:00

I guess MLK is not the only person "who has a dream..."

Watch Bill Clinton fall asleep during a MLK Remembrance Speech

email me! you know you wanna: heydreamergirl@yahoo.com

2008-01-22T14:31:00.000-05:00

flirting 101 (i should be insulted that i was e-mailed this link (because i gots no game) however i am actually really interested):

http://people.howstuffworks.com/flirting.htm

so i am reading the article and under The Science of Flirting it says:

"If we only governed flirting with the most rational part of our brains, we might not ever flirt -- or get a date -- at all. In fact, according to biologist Dr. Antonio Damasio, there's a connection between brain damage and flirting. He states that "people with damage to the connection between their limbic structures and the higher brain are smart and rational -- but unable to make decisions" [source: Psychology Today]."

BAH! i don't have brain damage! i'm just shy when it comes to boys! hahaha

email me! you know you wanna: heydreamergirl@yahoo.com

2008-01-18T14:18:00.001-05:00

I love me some girl movies!…even superficial-fluffy-Jr. High-slumber-party-chick flicks…and I am so not going to apologize for this.

I am super excited about the movies coming out below! I am confident that Tina Fey’s movie will be smartly written because (as Mean Girls, SNL, and 30 Rock have established) Fey is pretty sharp with the pen. Not to mention, (and maybe I am biased because I am studying at the UCBT) Amy Poehler has great comedic timing. I also have high hopes for Katherine Heigl’s movie (Heigl’s comedic timing was on point in Knocked Up—who knew?--plus Heigl is smart enough to launch her own production company which makes me love her even more). I am pretty sure Eva Longoria’s movie will be superficial and silly but I love how she plays bitchy on Desperate Housewives. Besides, I am excited that a Latina has a lead role in a movie and even more excited that Longoria is not playing a maid in said movie. Not all Latinas are maids and /or immigrants. Just going to put that out there.

You can see the movie trailers here:

http://babymamamovie.net/
http://www.27dressesthemovie.com/
http://www.overherdeadbodymovie.com/

email me! you know you wanna: heydreamergirl@yahoo.com

2008-01-18T11:16:00.000-05:00

Co-worker A just told co-worker N that he made up a bull sh-- club in high school called:

S.T.A.P.L.E.S

Students Talking About Problems Like EqualS

Just so they would have something to write on their empty college applications.

email me! you know you wanna: heydreamergirl@yahoo.com

2008-01-18T10:45:00.001-05:00

So apparently my Costco Green Tea bags come with instructions:

Place the tea bag into your cup.
Pour hot water at 176 degrees F (80 degrees C)
Wait about 30 seconds before you remove the tea bag from your cup.
Drink.

I was so lost before those instructions -- THANK YOU SO MUCH for clearing that up, Costco!

email me! you know you wanna: heydreamergirl@yahoo.com

2008-01-17T12:54:00.001-05:00

I want to drop kick my Bikram yoga instructor.

We are not allowed to pee, leave the room, or do non-Bikram poses. We are also not allowed to drink water or MOVE unless she says it's ok.

Keep in mind Bikram Yoga is 90 minutes of Hatha Yoga in an enclosed/windowless 105 degrees F/60% humidity room.

Something about learning self-control and focus blahblahblaaaaah.

Maybe I'll thank her in 6 months when I am healthy and all zen and crap but for right now all I can think is---

WHAT a Freaking Fascist.

email me! you know you wanna: heydreamergirl@yahoo.com

2008-01-16T13:45:00.000-05:00

I had a dream last night where there were a large group of women (including me) drowning in the ocean due to shipwreck. We somehow made it to shore and then I wanted to go home. So, I got on the bus but was too tired to get off at my stop so I sat on the bus and then eventually got off someplace I have never been. I went to a party in my shipwrecked clothes however nobody seemed to notice. And since they never asked what happened I never told them. So I danced all night in my tattered clothes that nobody noticed pretending that a life-altering event did not just occur.

email me! you know you wanna: heydreamergirl@yahoo.com

2008-01-16T12:26:00.000-05:00

when i was two my god-mother dressed up like a clown for my birthday and when she walked in the room--all decked out in her clown glory--i would not stop screaming (not crying--screaming) until she left. i wonder if this was because when i was born my abuelo (grandpa) got me a stuffed clown doll with huge bugged out eyes to “snuggle up” with.

i got clown issues, i know.

at any rate, that’s why i find this article hilarious methinks:

Don't send in the clowns

Wed Jan 16, 8:32 AM ET
LONDON (Reuters) - Bad news for Coco and Blinko -- children don't like clowns and even older kids are scared of them.
The news that will no doubt have clowns shedding tears was revealed in a poll of youngsters by researchers from the University of Sheffield who were examining how to improve the decor of hospital children's wards.
The study, reported in the Nursing Standard magazine, found all the 250 patients aged between four and 16 they quizzed disliked the use of clowns, with even the older ones finding them scary.
"As adults we make assumptions about what works for children," said Penny Curtis, a senior lecturer in research at the university.
"We found that clowns are universally disliked by children. Some found them quite frightening and unknowable."
(Reporting by Michael Holden; Editing by Steve Addison)

email me! you know you wanna: heydreamergirl@yahoo.com

2008-01-16T10:18:00.001-05:00

When you are the last person to the bagel cart in the morning and your options are fat free salmon cream cheese spread for your bagel or nothing at all…always choose NOTHING AT ALL. I just learned this the hard way.

email me! you know you wanna: heydreamergirl@yahoo.com

2008-01-15T17:27:00.000-05:00

Crazy Co-Worker Y’s (the one who sits right behind me) had to empty out her desk and move on Friday. I was in a meeting all morning so I had no idea why. Perhaps it was because she coated my desk (with me in it) with Lysol (which got me sick)? At any rate, she got moved to another (faaaar away!!) part of the building. When she moved, co-worker S and I danced around the office. Oh, and our male boss C laid seductively on Y’s desk like a swim-suit calendar but I don’t really want to talk about that.

So today, co-worker M’s friend came by our side of the building to complain about some ridiculously obnoxious lady who just moved in the cubicle next to her. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. She is talking about Crazy Co-Worker Y.

SUCKAS!!!

((Please refer to Thursday, January 03, 2008's post for clarification.))

email me! you know you wanna: heydreamergirl@yahoo.com

2008-01-15T10:45:00.000-05:00

Creepy bumper sticker of the year posted on my bus this morning:

www.sexyprisoners.com
“Because sexy prisoners need love too”

I don’t have time to really look at the site but the first line is:

“This is the place to come to meet great friends, Penpals and even a lot more.”

ewwwwwww.

get me out of new jersey STAT.

email me! you know you wanna: heydreamergirl@yahoo.com

2008-01-10T13:07:00.001-05:00

I am going to DIE alone. No, seriously, if I don't get over being so freaking shy around boys, I am going to DIE alone. There was a cute guy in the lunch line behind me (wow…Jr. High flashback I KNOW) and he kept on trying to talk to me. HOWEVES, yours truly got really shy and I put my head down and just mumbled responses back and then as soon as I got my food left quickly. WHAT is wrong with me? I am not a shy person by any means, in fact I am pretty loud and boisterous EXCEPT when it comes to dating. In college I asked this guy out on the last day of school and then I turned around and RAN AWAY. This would all be hilarious if it were not SO SO SO SAD.

email me! you know you wanna: heydreamergirl@yahoo.com

2008-01-04T17:05:00.001-05:00

My co-worker just said:

"not only do i have a fake tree but i wrap fake presents to put under the fake tree."

my response:

"that is quite possibly the saddest thing i have ever heard."

email me! you know you wanna: heydreamergirl@yahoo.com

2008-01-03T17:02:00.001-05:00

AL [4:42 PM]:
we should start a blog about her
AL [4:42 PM]:
it would be hilarious
EE[4:42 PM]:
oh you think i haven't?
AL[4:43 PM]:
really? where?
EE[4:43 PM]:
no i am kidding but i do have a blog
EE[4:43 PM]:
that sometimes has office stuff in it
AL [4:43 PM]:
ah.
AL [4:43 PM]:
so is today's episode going in?
EE [4:44 PM]:
mmmmmmmmmm
EE [4:50 PM]:
My crazy co-worker Yvette just sprayed a half a can of Lysol around her cubicle (which is 2 feet away from mine) because she refuses to “get anymore sick”. Of course, she is already getting better and it was earlier on this week that her contagious germs of death were permeating our innocent healthy office environment. And now I am breathing in a life time supply of Pine-scented Lysol crap and my eyes are burning out of my sockets. MY EYES! MY EYYYYES! Home-girl is going down. Oh, it is so on.
AL [4:51 PM]:
i'd mention her name as just "Y" and play the pun of "why? oh why god!?"
AL [4:52 PM]:
mention that she showered all of us.
AL [4:52 PM]:
all 12 of us
EE [4:54 PM]:
Rewrite:
My crazy co-worker Y (as in Y God? WWWHHHHYYYYY? (hahaha another co-worker told me to add that)) just sprayed a half a can of Lysol around her cubicle (which is 2 feet away from mine) because she refuses to “get anymore sick”. She then proceeded to shower the rest of the office with her pine-scented Lysol can-o-fun. Of course, she is already getting better and it was earlier on this week that her contagious germs of death were permeating our innocent healthy office environment. And now I am breathing in a life-time supply of pine-scented Lysol crap and my eyes are burning out of my sockets. MY EYES! MY EYYYYES! Home-girl is going down. Oh, it is so on.
AL [4:55 PM]:
awesome.

email me! you know you wanna: heydreamergirl@yahoo.com

2008-01-03T15:20:00.000-05:00

"he who drowns first has the last word"

is the ancient chinese proverb on the green tea i am drinking.

email me! you know you wanna: heydreamergirl@yahoo.com

2008-01-03T14:49:00.002-05:00

The Year of the Dreamer

Writer Robbie Baitz has called 2008, The Year of the Dreamer.

This is also the year Elidia finds her voice.

1.HEALTH:

I am tired of being overweight. So I signed on for a 6 month min. commitment with Bikram Yoga (90 minutes of hatha yoga done in 105 degree heat, 60% humidity), but have no time to do it in the evening. This means I have to get up 3.5 hours earlier just to make the 6:45am class. Today, I had to wait outside for the bus this morning at 5:30am with a negative 2 degree wind-chill factor (living next to the Hudson River during winter is such gooood times.) You know what though? No more excuses when it comes to getting healthy.

2.WRITE:

I consider myself a writer but I rarely write anymore--so I just enrolled in the last spot in UCB current cycle's last open Sketch Comedy Writing 101. And I am actually really nervous---I was pretty nervous when I signed up for UCB Improv 101 (I had such bad stage fright it took me a whole year just to sign up for the first level). However, my teacher Ari was incredibly supportive and to this day continues to give me amazing advice.

3. PERFORM:

I have enrolled in UCB's Improv 301. I am really excited and no longer nervous about performing. I'd say that is largely due to my Improv 201 class/teacher combo. 201 is really exhausting because it is comedy theory and my teacher Curtis was super blunt yet really smart with his observations—and that combination kinda forced me to get over myself.

These are not New Year's Resolutions—I have not made any New Year's Resolutions since elementary school. This is more a declaration to no longer be stagnant in how my life unfolds.

email me! you know you wanna: heydreamergirl@yahoo.com

2007-12-29T22:09:00.001-05:00

california marches to the beat of its own multi-colored-tree-hugging-naked-y-tattooed-sporting-pimped-out-souped-up-hydrolysized drum.

i was blissfully unaware of this until i moved from los angeles to nyc a few years ago and got knocked upside the head with all things new york.

but this blog is about CA not NY.

((insert disclaimer here: the people i talk about below have hearts as big as the ocean: i am just making an observation about how californians roll))

take for example, california based religion:

californians lo-ooove making up their own rules and religions. there is a reason both kabbalah and the church of scientology have their headquarters in my hometown of los angeles. i have a friend training to be a high priestess who is currently knee-deep in writing her own bible doctrine, and my los angeles neighborhood yoga teacher/chiropractor/spiritual healer just made up a religion of his own too. dr. yogachirosprirhealer's working title is Practical Spirituality, and the circular logic is more or less thinking is doing is believing is achieving is thinking.

or what about a certain self proclaimed "conservative christian" near and dear to my heart who has a pot-farm in her back yard for "medical purposes". erm last time i checked----you ain't sick boo.

or politics. i loved my manhattan co-worker's dumbfounded look when i told her that action star arnold schwarzenegger ran against childhood and reality tv whore gary coleman and porn star mary carey. aaaaand won. or that los angeles politicos fail to see the irony in wanting to hire illegal immigrants to build a wall around the California-Mexico border…to keep illegal immigrants out.

or schooling. UC San Diego is connected to the beach. a nude beach. my college paraglide instructor gave me one suggestion and one suggestion only when flying, "if you look down, brace yourself for 800 pounds of ugly."

i could go on, but i am dangerously close to rambling as it is. my point, if i even have one is this: marching to the beat of your own drum, being different and all that jazz is all gravy baby, but just be aware, my golden-california-children-of-the-sunshine, that we are dangerously close to becoming THAT STATE. you know. the one that spawed paris hilton.

ok, self righteous rant over.

email me! you know you wanna: heydreamergirl@yahoo.com

2007-12-19T15:17:00.000-05:00

This morning the guy next to me in line to get an egg sandwich at Gray’s Papaya said calmly, “I am the Lord.” And the worker behind the counter did not blink an eye or raise his voice, he just responded completely unfazed, “Does the Lord want cheese on his egg sandwich?”

I love this city.

email me! you know you wanna: heydreamergirl@yahoo.com

2007-12-13T17:31:00.003-05:00

WHY COLLEGE STUDENTS SHOULD NEVER GRADUATE: A WARNING ((*or go to grad school--just dooon't grow up!)):::::

the first part of this IM was closed off but it had something to do w/ co-worker SB wondering if she is going through a quarter life crisis...and me telling her I went through one which is how I ended up in NYC—this was brought on by her being busy…haaaaard at work…watching the pilot episode of My So Called Life)
SB [5:15 PM]:
but im just like whoa, this should NOT resonate with me
EE [5:15 PM]:
b/c you are not a teenager?
SB [5:16 PM]:
its like high-school (EARLY high school) drama
EE [5:16 PM]:
My-so-called- life cuts deep
SB [5:16 PM]:
haha yeah
SB [5:16 PM]:
but its just the pilot episode
SB [5:16 PM]:
where she is just trying to figure out who she is
SB [5:16 PM]:
and its like... i know who i am, I’ve been through all that mess
EE [5:16 PM]:
but do we ever know who we truly are?
SB [5:16 PM]:
maybe its just the general angst-y-ness of it
SB [5:16 PM]:
hahaha
EE [5:16 PM]:
we are constantly changing and growing
EE [5:16 PM]:
(hopefully)
SB [5:16 PM]:
ok ms. philosophy
SB [5:17 PM]:
yeah thats true
SB [5:17 PM]:
if you would have told me in college that i would ever considerate myself an introvert i would have thought you were crazy
SB [5:17 PM]:
and now here i am preferring to spend the night with my cat and my computer than going out
EE [5:17 PM]:
if you would have told me in college i would have an office job i would have laughed in your face and then kicked you
EE [5:17 PM]:
maybe not in that order
SB [5:18 PM]:
hahahahahahah
SB [5:18 PM]:
oh i can just imagine
SB [5:18 PM]:
lets run off to spain together
EE [5:18 PM]:
or paris
SB [5:18 PM]:
ooh
SB [5:18 PM]:
or greece
EE [5:18 PM]:
eric can watch the cat
SB [5:18 PM]:
you could show me around
SB [5:18 PM]:
sounds good to me

email me! you know you wanna: heydreamergirl@yahoo.com

2007-12-05T13:14:00.001-05:00

improv 201 class performance:
the UCB Theatre
307 West 26th Street

(between 8th and 9th Avenue)

When: Saturday, December 8th @ 04:00 PM
cost:
$5.00

we are also going to take over this bar after the show:

McManus
152 7th Ave. (@ 19th St)

hope to see you there!

xxoo,

elidia

email me! you know you wanna: heydreamergirl@yahoo.com

2007-11-05T04:29:00.000-05:00

I am in Europe for 9 days celebrating my 27th birthday. C, a work friend who lives in London is putting me up and has been the most generous hostess ever. My trip so far have had some elements of ridiculousness---like trying to get a hotel in Paris but getting booked for a hotel in London,--my credit card trying to shut down my account due to European "fraud" (when I TOLD them I was going to Europe before I left), a currency exchange rate of 2.41 dollars per 1 pound plus processing fee--((((ha (ok one fast story before I leave)--yesterday C, her husband S and his friend N and I were trying to catch a really expensive tour (120 US dollars each) that we already paid for. So we leave at 7:15am (and my poor jet-lag PMS body thinks it 5 hours earlier) and end up going to the wrong location and...have only 10 minutes to find the right location before the tour leaves, so we flag a cab and AS SOON as we get to an intersection a parade of really really slow cars go by. ahhhhhh hahahaha, but we made it.))))

BUT really folks...a little perspective...

I have already been to Greenwich (where the world time is set and East meets West), the Docklands, Buckhingham Palace, Big Ben, Windsor Castle, Stonehenge, and the Roman Baths..and it's only been two days. I have a free place to stay in London with the sweetest most accomadating couple ever. So, what am I really complaining about??

more later...

I need to go play!

Happy B-day to me!

email me! you know you wanna: heydreamergirl@yahoo.com

2007-10-23T12:43:00.000-04:00

i love my mom...but her email footer? not so much.

One saggy boob said to the other saggy boob:
"If we don't get some support soon, people will think we're nuts."

email me! you know you wanna: heydreamergirl@yahoo.com

2007-10-22T12:28:00.000-04:00

When I heard that Argentina just elected their first (Democratically Elected) Female President I was so excited! TWO STEPS forward!

And then I saw the title of it’s accompanying article:

Argentina’s new Evita Peron tangoes her way to power

aaaannnnd three steps back.

email me! you know you wanna: heydreamergirl@yahoo.com

2007-10-19T11:36:00.000-04:00

random e-mail((#2))from my boss:

“Dude has the hots for the site”

((that's it....that is all the e-mail said. How am I suppose to respond to that?))

email me! you know you wanna: heydreamergirl@yahoo.com

2007-10-10T13:56:00.000-04:00

i am an auntie as of this morning!

don't know the name yet but::

6lbs 7 oz
19 inches
dark eyes, dirty blond hair

and very smiley...my mom says she is very attentive and looks at whomever is speking to her..which of course my mom equates with sheer genius...((my mom also swears she talks..erm..yes at one day old. what? no novel or screenplay yet? baby be slacking!))

=b

i got her a big soft brown bear and a bib that i put on the bear that says i love my auntie...but before you roll your eyes i was going to get her a shirt with my face on it and two thumbs up...

...she was born the day i came back to nyc from los angeles. booooooo.

anywhoo, baby girls are good additions to the world.

today is a =) day.

email me! you know you wanna: heydreamergirl@yahoo.com

2007-09-27T17:17:00.001-04:00

Much to the great chagrin and utter dismay of my co-workers I have been talking like an 85 year-old menthol-smoking grandma for the whole freaking day...I cannot stop! I don’t know why!!! It’s an addiction that I just don’t know how to quit!

email me! you know you wanna: heydreamergirl@yahoo.com

2007-09-19T12:55:00.000-04:00

Today is National Talk Like a Pirate Day. Is it weird that I am the only one in my office (corporate office on Madison Ave.)that does not give a crap?

click below for more info than you ever wanted and/or needed to know about this fabulous day::

Talk Like A Pirate!!

email me! you know you wanna: heydreamergirl@yahoo.com

2007-09-17T13:47:00.000-04:00

east coast friendzies!!
What: my improv 101 class performance
Who: my improv 101 class (taught by ari voukydis)!
Where:
the UCB Theatre307 West 26th Street
(between 8th and 9th Avenue)
When: Saturday, September 29 @ 04:00 PM
Cost: $5.oo
Why: b/c you lo-ove me

Disclaimer:
the koh train asked what does he do if i am not funny. erm……you laugh anyway.
this will effectively eliminate any awkward moments afterwards when i stare at you
beseechingly with bambi eyes and asked if you laughed during the show. this is improv 101 folks. we are beginners performing something incredibly hard, so laugh regardless of whether we are funny or not!!...and nooooo throwing tomatos a la fonzie…BRIAN i am sooo talking to you.

that being said, we think we are pretty funny and have had a lot of fun acting a fool these past two months in class and i want to share what my class and i have been learning with you!!

hope to see you there!

email me! you know you wanna: heydreamergirl@yahoo.com

2007-09-10T17:53:00.000-04:00

I love cute crazy old people. There must be an old folks home near the UCB Theatre. I was waiting in line for AsssCat 3000 last night (which was awesome!) and there were a surplus of cute crazy old people.

The first was the little old lady about 75 or 80 approaching everyone in line about attending her improv show and passing out neon flyers to a show that I doubt she is connected to. She says she tried stand-up but found improv less intimating--

erm…

…caregiver come get your charge.

Then there was this cute little old man with dirty white clothes on and a large green parrot on his shoulder who decided to cut past the 50+ people in line and sit in the front of the line. He did not say a word, (nor did his parrot oddly enough) but just sat there…him and his parrot…just chillin’. Nobody said anything, probs because it was so surreal.

And then finally another little old man shuffled by a while later and asked me what the line was for. I said improv shows…and was like, cool. and shuffled to the end of the line.

cuuuuuuteNcraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazy old people make the world go’round!!!

email me!

you know you wanna: heydreamergirl@yahoo.com

2007-09-07T10:48:00.001-04:00

My 85 year old security guard serenades me. Jealous? You should be. The other security guards apparently are. Because today another one started humming as I walked by.

The semi-retired security guards are fighting for my attention!!!

I have arrived.

email me! you know you wanna: heydreamergirl@yahoo.com

2007-09-07T10:47:00.000-04:00

The brakes on the bus were going out today which made my NYC bus ride to work today quite thrilling. The NJ driver kept on cussing, screeching on the brakes, and honking at other drivers to get out of the way…

I was sitting right behind the driver and all I heard the whole time was this:

Shit. Screeeeech HONK!! shiiit HOOONK!! sccccreeeeech. SHHHHIIIIITTTTTT screeeeech. HONKHONKHONK!!!!sccccreeeeech!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Good times my friends….good times.

email me! you know you wanna: heydreamergirl@yahoo.com

2007-09-04T17:25:00.000-04:00

IM Convo I had today will co-worker HR

HR [5:07 PM]:
Regardless, it's pretty odd everyone is leaving all of a sudden. M, S, S and now G

ME [5:07 PM]:
i have no idea who s is

HR [5:08 PM]:
The indian IT dude that manages our servers, specifically IIS stuff

ME [5:08 PM]:
oh. and everyone on the staff at my church is leaving too
ME [5:08 PM]:
hmmm it seems to be an epidemic!

HR [5:08 PM]:
oh and of course K, but that was to be expected

ME [5:08 PM]:
but none of these people were happy here either

HR [5:08 PM]:
true
HR [5:08 PM]:
E, I'll never leave you! hahaha

ME [5:09 PM]:
mr. rogers told me that too
ME [5:10 PM]:
but then he went and died on me
ME [5:10 PM]:
bastard

HR [5:10 PM]:
haha

ME [5:10 PM]:
LYING bastard

HR [5:11 PM]:
did i tell you the year after i graduated, the proceeding graduating class got mr. rogers to give their commencement speech, but he died on them and they were unable to find a suitable replacement in time

ME [5:11 PM]:
that is the worst story in the whole wide world.

email me! you know you wanna: heydreamergirl@yahoo.com

2007-08-30T17:22:00.000-04:00

There is this woman in my office. Nobody likes her because of her numerous annoying habits. I tried to be nice to her in the beginning, and give her the benefit of the doubt, but it’s really hard when ALL of my co-workers cannot stand her…plus they dooo sorta have a point...she can be pretty annoying. I don't try that hard anymore. (Which also kinda speaks to how I handle peer pressure.)

Anyway, when I first started working here, I would see her in the hallway or bathroom or on the streets and always waved and said hello. She always ignored me. So after months of being blatantly ignored I stopped saying hello whenever we crossed paths. This means, if we see each other walking down the street we basically pretend the other person does not exist.

Even though we work less than three feet away from each other.
A different co-worker thought this was funny.
This is more sad than funny to me.
New Yorkers are soo strange sometimes.
Now, don't get me wrong I lo-ove me some New York, but this type of normalcy--never acknowledging someone who works less than three feet away from me--makes me miss Southern California.

email me! you know you wanna: heydreamergirl@yahoo.com

2007-08-27T16:24:00.001-04:00

Busy Mooooving…in what has to be the most ridiculously chaotic move ever in the history of all moves…venturing out deep into a questionable part of Brooklyn to return 4 cable boxes and a modem, people out of the country who needed to pay deposits, two and a half fully furnished aptartments squished into one for a few days, moving at midnight to fit a friend’s busy schedule, getting keys to people that need them 1.5 hours before I can physically get there and are waiting with movers who charge by the hour, lest not forget the bathtub incident in my current apt. that I wrote about on Friday…

There are more issues I am sure my brain is consciously blocking from memory as a self-protective measure.

Did I mention the one delusional moving company who quoted 1 grand to move a bed and desk 5.5 miles…”because we use pulleys!”

Screw your pulleys! My pulleys can beat up your pulleys!

=b

My other new roommates have embraced the chaos and I think I am succumbing to their non-dastardly ways.

Besides, there will be a super fun housewarming party that will be the balm to this move’s chapped lips...

...yeah, I have no idea where I was going with that analogy either.

((AND for what it’s worth, I am actually really really excited because my new roommates are nothing short of stupendous. STUPENDOUS I tell you!!))

email me! you know you wanna: heydreamergirl@yahoo.com

2007-08-26T18:07:00.000-04:00

Seasonal beer:

I love Blue Moon Summer Ale.

Mmmm….Blue Moon Summer Ale.

So, you can imagine my great dismay when I found out they are no longer serving it because it’s “FALL” now…henceforth I am stuck with Blue Moon Harvest Pumpkin Ale.

Who wants pumpkin crap in their beer?

Stupid seasonal beer rule maker upers.

UPDATE:

I have had the Blue Moon Harvest Pumpkin Ale and it is really quite tasty.

Mmmm….Blue Moon Harvest Pumpkin Ale.

email me! you know you wanna: heydreamergirl@yahoo.com

2007-08-25T09:21:00.000-04:00

Thoughts on the FREE JESUS manifesto?

email me! you know you wanna: heydreamergirl@yahoo.com

2007-08-24T12:58:00.000-04:00

I went to bed at 3:30am and then, and then, subsequently up at 7:30am for work.

WHY?

Sooo GLAD you asked.

b/c I came home at 1:30am to a bathtub almost filled to the brim with water...the water knobs would not turn off, so the water was freely running, and the tub was not draining AT ALL...I had to get a big bowl and scoop water out and pour it down the sink numerous times so it would not overflow and cause serious water damage. Since it is not my apt, I did not have any management numbers and the super was not answering his door despite my frequent pounding and doorbell ringing (in all fairness, it WAS 1:30 in the morning). My friend S, who lived there until last Saturday and is one the lease (thus, would have the much needed management numbers) was not answering her phone. I woke the other roomie up...but she is subletting too so she had no numbers either. Her suggestion was to take turns continually scooping out water until the morning when we could get in contact with the management.

erm...noooo

I eventually got a hold of G who lived there in June, and got the number: the household management team was not in (DUH, 1:30 in the morning), but it did say, for tenants ER, press one, so I did, AND got another recording.

anywhoo, G and his AWESOME self came over at 2am and figured out a way to jerry-rig it so the water stopped running.

so, I am sitting here at work, un-showered, (does baby wiping count?) trying to figure out a way to sleep with my eyes open.

And S is like let's go daaaancing tonight in the meatpacking district!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ha.

ZZZZZZZ + ME = HAPPYHAPPYJOYJOY

is what I am doing tonight.

Oh, and when S called the Management company this morning to tell them what happened, their response was, “What do you want us to do about it?”

good times. good times.

email me! you know you wanna: heydreamergirl@yahoo.com

2007-08-21T21:56:00.001-04:00

“Full rubber lubricants. What do they do? Define your business!”

What my boss gleefully announced to whomever would listen as he entered the office this morning.

email me! you know you wanna: heydreamergirl@yahoo.com

2007-08-21T11:08:00.000-04:00

Had dinner on the lower east side last night with friends whom I have not seen in a hot minute (can I pull that off? Saying hot minute? anywhoo):

A snippet of our conversation:

B: Yeah, I’m going to need the keys to your old apt, and the keys to your new apt.
Me: Ha.
R: Why?
S: Oh, and my uncle needs to know when he should come.
R: WHAT?
Me: Ok.
A: I might be a life coach on MTV’s Made!
R: What does S’s uncle have to do with anything?
C: guuuuys pay attention to my So. African slide show!

And it all made sense to me.

PS: love you GG!!

email me! you know you wanna: heydreamergirl@yahoo.com

2007-08-21T01:24:00.000-04:00

One of my best friends in high school was absolutely gorgeous, incredibly sweet, but really insecure. She always had to be in a relationship and pretty much morphed into whatever type of guy she was dating—for example, if the guy liked punk rock (‘scuse me, rawk) then she became punk, alternatively, if the guy was into classical music all of a sudden she would become sophisticated and her taste in music, wardrobe, attitude would all shift. Fast-forward to the present day…I have not spoken to her in years, we just kinda drifted apart after high school as we grew older and increasingly different.

Sooooo.

I just found her myspace…her latest boyfriend is erm…wait for it…a muscle-man. Yes, the whole shebang::: the orange ommpa-loompa tan, bleached veneers, huge honking muscles, and the nickname “Alpha-Male” to boot. So guess what my childhood friend is now? A muscle-woman. She has the orange tan, is super bulked up and competing in muscle competitions, with bleached white veneers as well. This would be hilarious if it was somebody else, ANYBODY else, but this is MY childhood friend, with the orange skin, fake florescent teeth, expanding muscles and empty eyes. MY friend that never believed it whenever I told her she was amazing, MY friend who compared her self-worth to how much the guy in her life paid attention to her.

no.

This is not funny at all.

email me! you know you wanna: heydreamergirl@yahoo.com

2007-08-18T01:36:00.000-04:00

random e-mail ((#1)) from my pink shirt wearing Scottish boss::

"In the light of recent events, and as we looking to add a couple of people to teamXXXX, the thought occurred to me that we should have a “what does it take to be in teamXXXX?” type question.

Obviously a collective hatred for Scottish people in pink shirts goes without saying.

However, what defines the work environment? How do we all get on?

In a recent conversation with Project ManagerXXXX it occurred to me – Mike Judge’s Office Space. Mandatory viewing of this. An understanding of the dialogue:

Bob: Peter – describe a typical day for you

Peter: Well, I generally come in 15 minutes late, usually through the side door so that my boss doesn’t notice. I then turn on my computer and just kind of phase out.

Bob: What do you mean, phase out?

Peter: well, I just kind of stare at my computer screen. It gives the illusion I am working, but I am not actually doing anything. Then I go for lunch, come back late and head home early. So, in general, in any given day, I probably only do about 15 minutes actual work

This is not the exact wording, but the best I can do from memory.

So, questions for future candidates:

What kind of stapler is the bone of contention?

How does Peter increase his office space?

What is the track to beat up on a fax machine?

What is an “O” face?

How do you get the financing to eventually get funding to create a “Jump to conclusions mat”?

Is Jennifer Anniston tolerable in this movie?

What is the minimum amount of flare that should be worn?

Any other questions that you can think of would be greatly appreciated.

If you have not seen this film, you should. Then look up around you in Company XXXX. It is better even than “Waiting”, which as anyone that has been a waiter/waitress knows – never mess with someone that is delivering food that you will consume.

BossXXXX"

email me! you know you wanna: heydreamergirl@yahoo.com

2007-08-18T01:33:00.001-04:00

My friends think I am peculiar (well, more so than normal) for steering clear of building windows above me when moseying down the street. Peculiar? Hummmph. Lemme tell you a lil’ story….

…Last summer I was a Drama T.A. for 72 “at-risk” 2nd graders. Two of the precocious little darlings decided it would hilarious to pee out of the bathroom window. Now mind you, they were second graders, thus rather short…and the window was pretty high up...so they had to aim preetty darn carefully. And aim those little fellas did, right out of the window onto the construction workers below. How I was expected to punish them whilst keeping a straight face was beyond me.

Anywhoo, this is why I do not walk under windows…because on a hot summer day those air conditioners are dripping water like crazy onto the passer-bys below—and even though I know logically that it is water—there is a part of me that will now forever, subconsciously or not, associate liquid coming out of windows as pee—so I’ll just stick to walking on the opposite side of the sidewalk thank-you.

email me! you know you wanna: heydreamergirl@yahoo.com

2007-08-10T11:45:00.001-04:00

I am taking an comedy improv class at the Upright Citizen’s Brigade…which is a theatre troop founded by veteran SNL cast members. Last night was my first night—it was three hours of sheer joy and laughing. Plus, doing things that were absolutely mortifying, such as singing all by myself with everyone watching….and we were not allowed to be goofy when we sang…we had to take it seriously…did I mention this was the very first exercise? Sheesh…welcome to improv…check your fear at the door.

So my teacher, Ari said some pretty profound things. He’s kinda deep for a funny man.

One was “improvement comes from demystifying failure.”

Word.

The other thing he talked about was not following our instincts 100% but only 50%. This is contrary to everything I have been taught. However, as he further explained, due to our own personal insecurity from being human, half of our instincts are negative. So he told us he wants us to avoid the instincts that are going to “drag you down and make you ordinary.”

Word.

email me! you know you wanna: heydreamergirl@yahoo.com

2007-08-10T11:28:00.000-04:00

Melissa.

Melissa called me a lot.

She told me I was the only one who called her back.

Melissa loved Jesus.

Melissa was not well.

She was needy.

Sometimes she made no sense.

I could not handle Melissa.

I was in a sad space.

Melissa disappeared one day.

Left behind everything.

Went missing for three weeks.

Turns out she had amnesia.

Went to a hospital.

Family notified, going to make everything better.

Seasons went by.

Forgot about Melissa.

Well.

She was in the back of my head.

That's where I kept her.

In the back.

She called once.

Four months ago in April.

I was in a happy space.

I remember what I said.

But I don't remember what she said.

Things were ok.

I think that's what she said.

Things were ok.

Didn't she say that?

Then she stopped calling.

I thought about her two weeks ago.

She randomly popped into my head.

But I no longer had her info.

So I moved on.

Did not give it a second thought.

Then I thought about her again.

One week later.

Did not try to find her info.

Did not give it another passing thought.

One week after that I receive a call.

Melissa committed suicide

one week ago.

Melissa is in Jesus's arms now

2007-06-13T07:26:00.000-04:00

checking my e-mail and below is the headline of the featured story on Yahoo today. What. The. CRAP.

me likes how they quote college students as experts.

someone needs to get fired imm. if not sooner. =p

::::

"Eat food off the floor?
College students say that food on the ground is safer for much longer than you think.
*'5-second rule' over?
*Do others use the '5-second rule'?
*Summertime food safety tips"

2007-05-15T22:38:00.000-04:00

Ok, I have not written in this blog for eight months…but I realized today is my anniversary! I moved to NYC May 15, 2006 exactly one year ago today. I put the last post explaining why I am no longer a Teaching Fellow if you wanted to catch up a bit.. I wrote that in December 2006. It’s been a rough ride..and I feel like I am barely hanging on but DAMNIT! I made it one whole year here in NYC!!! And now it’s starting to come together.. I am moving to BK to a nice area, I have a temp to perm job at a media agency w/ nice co-workers (well today one did put a smelly fish in a cup on my desk as a joke, but we'll see who has the last laugh tomorrow when he leaves his computer and a love note mysteriously is sent from his e-mail account to our boss!!)a great boss who let me take lunch today with pay b/c the sun was shining (it's the little things my friends!)…granted things are not perfect, but life is not perfect…there are things I still wonder about like moving to Madrid or taking a chance and trying out for an improv show. Today I saw a man on the subway that I have seen once before…I was so upset b/c I missed my express train last week so I opted to take the local. Right in front of me was a man with a newborn and a 4/5 year old daughter. It was the sweetest thing ever because she was singing, the father was singing and it totally made my day. Today I saw the same man, with his two children and his wife in tow. Does that mean anything? Do I think too much about this crap? Yeah probably. All I know is that one year ago today I came here wide-eyed, a bit sad, and stubborn as all hell to make it here. A year later I have amazing friends, made peace with my past and still am stubborn as all hell to make it here. I refuse to let NYC eat me alive…NYC is going to fucking LOVE me and I refuse to have NYC kick me out. Everyone thought I was going to quit and run home every time things got bad, but NO, I am going to leave on MY own terms. Oooo I am so hard-core. Haha.

2007-05-15T22:31:00.000-04:00

Why I quit NYC Teaching Fellows. (12/06)

I can put up with a lot of things.

I can put up with five teachers sharing one classroom.
I can put up with students cussing, disrespecting and hating me…I do not tolerate it but that is not a reason for me to quit.
I can put up with the principal giving me 10 bilingual classes when I do not speak a word of Spanish.
I can put up with the principal trying to give me a schedule with no breaks, which completely illegal so I got my union involved.
I can put up with doing coverages for other teachers on a daily basis but not knowing what or who I am teaching until five minutes before the class begins. Not once has a teacher thought to leave a lesson plan for the sub. Not once.
I can put up with teachers quitting on weekly basis.
I can put up with the scary stories of the school’s recent past:
Principals don’t just leave…they leave on stretchers.
One angry parent beat up a principal so bad he is now permanently paralyzed from the waist down. Another principal has brain damage because a student threw a chair at her head that spit her head wide open. Four principals in one year. Police escorts from the school to the subway for teachers and staff. Tires slashed, windows bashed. The gangs were running the school and my school was in the middle of a gang war zone.

Yes, now there are different students, but it’s the same parents, same older siblings, same gang area.

However, hearing about these violent events that took place less than three years ago still did not scare me away.

I was informed on Friday that the soil behind the school is toxic. A lot of teachers and students are sick. Two teachers have had miscarriages, and these toxins have been linked to miscarriages in animals. I don’t even want to think about what other health issues these toxins can or have caused. The construction company digging up the soil said it was fine, yes the soil is toxic but it does not affect the schools. But that shit is in the air, you can taste it on your tongue. In one of my classes yesterday the wind shifted and blew the soil and dust right in.

I informed the Fellows to see if I could be pulled out but it’s a process because I need proof which can take up to a couple of months. All the while I am breathing and working in an unsafe environment? This breaks my heart because I have the ability to leave but the students do not. We are working on getting their parents informed though.

I can and have put up with a lot of crap with this school but I need to draw the line somewhere.

So, I am done. I am not sure what my next step is, I am broke, jobless and living in NYC. However, I’ve had it worse and I always manage to land on my feet. Just keep me in your prayers and send happy thoughts, phone-calls and e-mails my way! I miss talking to everyone!

2006-09-13T01:13:00.000-04:00

so am i the last one to find out that as of aug. 24 pluto is no longer considered a planet because of it's lack of self gravational pull and more crap like that?!?

so now under the new guide-lines there are only 8 planets and as cal-tech put it,

"pluto has been voted off the island!"

yow-zas!

booo! my 5th grade styrofoam science project is now a lie!

a LIE i tell you!

CLICK ME! bye-bye Pluto!

2006-09-12T19:48:00.000-04:00

i moved to harlem.

hey, for half the rent, you'd move too!

and let me just say i love that the produce guy in my local bodega feels no shame pausing in the middle of restocking peaches to eat a peach himself. maybe i'll just get bananas.

actually, i love NYC in general.

i love that the two middle age men that came to install my roomie's TV were having an argument over who was cooler: kevin or justin. as in kevin federline or justin timberlake. what are they--12 year old girls?

i love that my neighbor feels the need to inform me of all the local gossip regardless of whether i'm in a hurry or not. oh no she didn't...oh yesss she did!

and i love that last night my final memory of 9/11/06 was not of the necessary sadness that overwhelmed the day but instead it was overhearing my neighbor's sing happy birthday to a little girl named hannah.

2006-09-11T08:54:00.000-04:00

to my NYC friends:

as you tell me your personal 9/11 stories i wonder how i'm suppose to respond to the deep sadness in your voices.

so i just listen.

and maybe that's ok.

but please know even though i was 2,500 miles away, my heart...and everyone else's...was breaking too.

to everyone else:

if you're going to light a candle

or say a prayer for the deceased---who are in a better place

...please don't forget the living still trying to navigate through this space.

2006-07-11T23:05:00.000-04:00

Today was classic NYC Subway riding. Riding the C downtown, a homeless man came on the train begging for money and food. This is normally not too unusual except this particular gentleman DID NOT HAVE ON shoes, socks, pants, AND ummm underwear. He was wearing just a shirt. I was going to offer him a banana but I thought better of it when I noticed his hands were strategically placed on his nether regions. Riding the C uptown, with everyone else in Manhattan and no air conditioning was fun as well. Let's just say it was cooler on the platform which by normal standards could only be described as stifling hot. good times. good times.

2006-06-29T23:52:00.000-04:00

This older married black couple on the uptown 1 train caught my eye. I assumed they just got out of seeing a Broadway musical based on the Jersey Boys Playbill in Husband's hand. (I am SO astute, I know!) Husband was really excited and was humming parts of the musical and happily pointing out actors in the Playbill to Wife. As the train rolled on he continued humming and eventually Wife started humming too. She was sitting next to me, and he was standing in front of her and I almost wanted to get up so they could sit together and cuddle. ALMOST. It was late and I was tired. Plus, who is to say they were even going to cuddle? I was probably over-romancing the whole scenario in my pre-conditioned Hollywood infiltrated boy hearts girl 4-ever-n-ever mind anyway. Then when a large person sat on the other side of Wife and she was noticeably squished, Husband asked if she was alright with a concerned look on his face. All I could think was dang, it's one thing to take care of your partner when you are young but to be that old and in love must take some work. A short time later, as I got off on my stop I turned around briefly, just long enough to notice Husband sitting down next to his mate, grasping her hand and Wife subsequently resting her head safely on his shoulder.

I am such a sucker for this crap.

2006-06-11T01:14:00.000-04:00

I went to dum dum DUM...New Jersey today! What a ridiculously complicated experience. "First take the subway to the PATH and then take the PATH to the lightrail and then take the lightrail to NJ street and then from NJ street simply hail a cab to my apartment." easy as pie. I went for a BBQ with some new friends I have met in the city. Yes, yours truly is making friends. awwwwww. I almost had a heart attack when I found out they pay 1500 hundred for a gorgeous three bedroom with a back yard and beautiful view of the city. BUT then again, they live in New Jersey and it takes an army of vehicles to go the three miles it takes to get to Manhattan. So there.

On another note, I also got a really great summer job teaching drama. Now if I could only sort out my own drama, I'd be fine...

(SJONE)

2006-05-27T21:42:00.000-04:00

I went walking to a few street fairs in the area due to Memorial Day. WOW, there is so much to take in, in a NYC summer! I then went to a Lower East Side park to people-watch. Apparently the folks sitting directly across from me on a park bench were people watching as well…and critiquing. The man, a white gay man dressed in red, pink and blue denim with a Mohawk and GhettoFab gold bling was making fun of literally everyone that crossed his path. I knew he was talking about me too but I did not care. I too was busy trying to figure out his busy attire.

Ahhh New Yorkers.

I also enjoyed watching young kids trying to catch a rat. When the rat escaped, one kid said, “ahh let him go, he’s an illegal rat anyways.” WTF? Maybe I heard him wrong, if not then we have one future GOP’er on our hands folks.

2006-05-24T23:19:00.000-04:00

Today I went to a temp agency. (Not Mr. Temp w/ an Attitude, I would not give him the time of day)! Three hours of waiting, filling out forms, and taking demeaning tests later I find out that no only do they have no work for me but they are not sure when they will. ummmmm. Then one of them told me with a big permanent plastic smile that they look forward to working with me. clearly. As I left I felt slightly bad for the next poor sucker who had to endure the same freakishly large smile and faux friendliness. This is such crap! I am begging them to help me find some 11 dollar an hour job as a secretary? I was not trained to be a secretary! They did not seem excited when I told them I DID NOT want temp-to-perm because I have other plans come Fall. Less commission for them I guess. Is New York just about the "mighty" dollar? Say it isn't so!

2006-05-23T15:08:00.000-04:00

one hour. I lasted ONE HOUR, if that, at my "fun job." Maybe Mr. Temp Agency was right, maybe I do belong in an office. I am not a hustler, and hustling is what New Yorkers do best. I am a teacher, I want to help, to love, not coerce, beg or hustle. When the other new kid they paired me up found out I was a teacher he told me, "teaching IS hustling." He exclaimed frantically as if he were trying to sell teaching to me, "You gotta convince those kids that you have the information they want. y'know?" Maybe so. The difference, however, is that if teaching is hustling, then at least I'd believe in the product I'm selling.

2006-05-22T16:46:00.000-04:00

"The only way I'll be rich and famous is if I move out of New York where the rent is not so expensive." ~ A bike rider in Central Park talking to the tourists he is cycling around today.

WORD.

On another note, I got a fun summer job today. We'll see how it pans out, but I am feeling a bit thrown off b/c I got a call from a temp agency later on in the day. The man calling was really rude when I told him I was not interested b/c I was doing this other job. He told me a college graduate would not want that type of job and when I was interested in a real job in a real office to give him a call. You know what? I have spent my whole life living by someone else's rules. When I came to NYC, I said NO MORE. I am excited about my new job and if it does not work out, then so be it, I will chalk it up to a learning experience. Nobody has the right to tell me what I should and should not be doing especially some random judgmental stranger on the other line.

WORD.

2006-05-19T23:56:00.000-04:00

Friday May 19, 2006

Waiting for people to call/e-mail back for jobs SUCKS. Pouring rain SUCKS. On a more interesting note I cleaned the bathroom today.

2006-05-17T23:20:00.000-04:00

Wednesday May 17, 2006

Finding a job in NYC is insane! The jobs posted on online listservs pay 12-15 dollars and hour for entry level positions. Great, that covers my rent and a slice of pizza. I'll just walk from uptown to downtown since I, a Magma Cum Laude college grad cannot afford the subway. whatever. So I spent two hours this morning sending out resumes then I noticed it was sunny outside. Screw this, I'll worry about this crap tomorrow. I took a walk around Central Park instead. I took pictures, I saw two men and their daughter fishing...she had a mini-fishing line...cute. I almost got ran over by three policemen on horses screeching, "Get out of the way!" please. talk about drama queens. you know they were just going to lunch and wanted to act like John Wayne. I talked to an old friend today who is my age and is married with a kid. She said if she was not married she would be right there beside me. She sounded wistful. It made me think, you know, we have to follow our own paths in life, one path is not better than the other, in the end it's just what makes us happy. We have to decide what kind of memories we want when we are old and even though they will be different they actually will also be similar---because they will all be memories of days that bring a smile to our face.

2006-05-16T22:41:00.000-04:00

Tuesday May 16, 2006

I woke up and thought it was early morning. But the 11:45AM alarm clock does not lie. Damn. So much to do, but first so much sleeping to catch up on....A few minutes later my mind talked my body out of sleeping. I really got alotta of crap to do. I halfheartedly did a speedy 20 minute session of makeshift Bikram Yoga (if done correctly would take 90 minutes...but I digress) and threw some clothes on. I realized that I did not pack any Winter clothing...I am a California baby and I assumed that Mid-May would be summer. Yeah, I assumed wrong. I briefly wondered what other assumptions NYC would gleefully challenge me on and then quickly pushed those thoughts out of my head. I'm gonna figure this out one day at a time. First things first, I need to change my phone number. I was told that NYC hiring companies do not call out-of-stater's. Whether this is true or not, I did not care. NYC is my new home so a California area code does me no good. The woman behind the phone counter was more interested in flirting with the hot dreadlocked man to my left than helping me. Shoot, I was more interested in flirting with the hot dreadlocked man to my left than helping me too! But again, I digress. Got my new NYC! number, walked around, took some pictures, stopped by a pizza place. The kids inside--the mini New Yorkers--talked about God, sex, food, and friends. Anybody who thinks kids don't have anything interesting to say is not really listening. Or properly eavesdropping as I was doing. I met my roommate later on in the day, she walked in on the phone crying and upset. Apparently being a NYC teacher is a wee bit hard. She told me that she loves being a teacher but the bureaucracy of the NYC public school system is unbearable. Da-ang. One of my employment options was teaching come Fall. I taught in California and loved it. I love the kids here too. Maybe mini adults is more appropriate. But I will worry about my job options tomorrow. I also got a call from a friend today. She told me to set up a PayPal account so she can send me money. I said no, but I wonder how did I get so lucky to have such great friends?--and if they are so great, why did I leave them?

2006-05-16T22:11:00.000-04:00

Monday May 15, 2006

So. I arrived in NYC yesterday…a cold wet Monday with my whole life neatly packed into two suitcases. If only it were that easy. I had left on the 14th...Mother's Day...even though I have no children it was my Mother's Day because I was putting myself first...for once. The plane ride was fast—despite the five hour long conversation the two girls next to me insisted on having about the “OC.” Did you know Rachael Blison named her dog Penny Lane and that her boyfriend Andrew Brody bought it for her and did you know that Andrew is her boyfriend in real life??? OMG!!!!! I didn’t either. The trip from JFK to my sublet in Manhattan took 4.5 hours. YES 4.5 hours. Let’s just say that construction, NYC traffic, pouring rain, and a driver asking to see MY map DON’T MIX. He also told me I was lucky I was just visiting NYC. ummm NO I am actually moving here. He then turned around, looked me straight in the eyes and said quietly, "Good Luck." I did not respond. After picking up my sublet keys from a neighbor that was having her own complicated day I had the joyous task of getting my two suitcases, one backpack and a laptop from the bottom of the stairwell to the top. After lugging my crap up three flights of stairs I had a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. This is not the right stairwell. Damn. I then had the joyous task of re-lugging my crap down and then up the right stairwell. When I finally got to my new “home” everything seemed pretty clean and in order--I noted the gorgous purple bedroom curtains before passing out on my bed. When I woke a few hours later I decided a shower would be great. What I failed to see when I first got there was the black grimy tub and moldy shower curtain. Ummmm. My roommate seems to be a slob. I then carefully took a shower thinking how much nicer the shower that was never cleaned at that nasty hostel I stayed at last time I was here—y’know the one that hosted 100’s of travelers a day seemed. GROSS. Don’t get me started on the kitchen. Smelly piles of food and condiments are what comprise the inside of that refrigerator. Ummm. Maybe I’ll just eat out these next few months. My friend called me later, the one I am subletting her room from—to make sure I got there ok. I mentioned the bathroom, and she profusely apologized. My friend is pretty clean so I assumed it was the roommate from the beginning. But still. ewww. I picked up dinner at a local Chinese food place. I loved that the first words barked out of the guy behind the counter’s mouth were, “What? What do you want?” ummmm. Food? As I sat down in my new sublet apartment with beautiful bedroom curtains and moldly shower curtains I thought about this California girl's new adventure in NYC. Did I make the right choice? Am I running away from my past? I decided not to think about that and instead ponder on the days when perky food servers asked me politely, “Hi! How may I help you?”