One of my best friends in high school was absolutely gorgeous, incredibly sweet, but really insecure. She always had to be in a relationship and pretty much morphed into whatever type of guy she was dating—for example, if the guy liked punk rock (‘scuse me, rawk) then she became punk, alternatively, if the guy was into classical music all of a sudden she would become sophisticated and her taste in music, wardrobe, attitude would all shift. Fast-forward to the present day…I have not spoken to her in years, we just kinda drifted apart after high school as we grew older and increasingly different.

Sooooo.

I just found her myspace…her latest boyfriend is erm…wait for it…a muscle-man. Yes, the whole shebang::: the orange ommpa-loompa tan, bleached veneers, huge honking muscles, and the nickname “Alpha-Male” to boot. So guess what my childhood friend is now? A muscle-woman. She has the orange tan, is super bulked up and competing in muscle competitions, with bleached white veneers as well. This would be hilarious if it was somebody else, ANYBODY else, but this is MY childhood friend, with the orange skin, fake florescent teeth, expanding muscles and empty eyes. MY friend that never believed it whenever I told her she was amazing, MY friend who compared her self-worth to how much the guy in her life paid attention to her.

no.

This is not funny at all.



email me! you know you wanna: heydreamergirl@yahoo.com