There is this woman in my office. Nobody likes her because of her numerous annoying habits. I tried to be nice to her in the beginning, and give her the benefit of the doubt, but it’s really hard when ALL of my co-workers cannot stand her…plus they dooo sorta have a point...she can be pretty annoying. I don't try that hard anymore. (Which also kinda speaks to how I handle peer pressure.)
Anyway, when I first started working here, I would see her in the hallway or bathroom or on the streets and always waved and said hello. She always ignored me. So after months of being blatantly ignored I stopped saying hello whenever we crossed paths. This means, if we see each other walking down the street we basically pretend the other person does not exist.
Even though we work less than three feet away from each other.
A different co-worker thought this was funny.
This is more sad than funny to me.
New Yorkers are soo strange sometimes.
Now, don't get me wrong I lo-ove me some New York, but this type of normalcy--never acknowledging someone who works less than three feet away from me--makes me miss Southern California.
email me! you know you wanna: heydreamergirl@yahoo.com
Monday, August 27, 2007
Busy Mooooving…in what has to be the most ridiculously chaotic move ever in the history of all moves…venturing out deep into a questionable part of Brooklyn to return 4 cable boxes and a modem, people out of the country who needed to pay deposits, two and a half fully furnished aptartments squished into one for a few days, moving at midnight to fit a friend’s busy schedule, getting keys to people that need them 1.5 hours before I can physically get there and are waiting with movers who charge by the hour, lest not forget the bathtub incident in my current apt. that I wrote about on Friday…
There are more issues I am sure my brain is consciously blocking from memory as a self-protective measure.
Did I mention the one delusional moving company who quoted 1 grand to move a bed and desk 5.5 miles…”because we use pulleys!”
Screw your pulleys! My pulleys can beat up your pulleys!
=b
My other new roommates have embraced the chaos and I think I am succumbing to their non-dastardly ways.
Besides, there will be a super fun housewarming party that will be the balm to this move’s chapped lips...
...yeah, I have no idea where I was going with that analogy either.
((AND for what it’s worth, I am actually really really excited because my new roommates are nothing short of stupendous. STUPENDOUS I tell you!!))
email me! you know you wanna: heydreamergirl@yahoo.com
There are more issues I am sure my brain is consciously blocking from memory as a self-protective measure.
Did I mention the one delusional moving company who quoted 1 grand to move a bed and desk 5.5 miles…”because we use pulleys!”
Screw your pulleys! My pulleys can beat up your pulleys!
=b
My other new roommates have embraced the chaos and I think I am succumbing to their non-dastardly ways.
Besides, there will be a super fun housewarming party that will be the balm to this move’s chapped lips...
...yeah, I have no idea where I was going with that analogy either.
((AND for what it’s worth, I am actually really really excited because my new roommates are nothing short of stupendous. STUPENDOUS I tell you!!))
email me! you know you wanna: heydreamergirl@yahoo.com
Sunday, August 26, 2007
Seasonal beer:
I love Blue Moon Summer Ale.
Mmmm….Blue Moon Summer Ale.
So, you can imagine my great dismay when I found out they are no longer serving it because it’s “FALL” now…henceforth I am stuck with Blue Moon Harvest Pumpkin Ale.
Who wants pumpkin crap in their beer?
Stupid seasonal beer rule maker upers.
UPDATE:
I have had the Blue Moon Harvest Pumpkin Ale and it is really quite tasty.
Mmmm….Blue Moon Harvest Pumpkin Ale.
email me! you know you wanna: heydreamergirl@yahoo.com
I love Blue Moon Summer Ale.
Mmmm….Blue Moon Summer Ale.
So, you can imagine my great dismay when I found out they are no longer serving it because it’s “FALL” now…henceforth I am stuck with Blue Moon Harvest Pumpkin Ale.
Who wants pumpkin crap in their beer?
Stupid seasonal beer rule maker upers.
UPDATE:
I have had the Blue Moon Harvest Pumpkin Ale and it is really quite tasty.
Mmmm….Blue Moon Harvest Pumpkin Ale.
email me! you know you wanna: heydreamergirl@yahoo.com
Saturday, August 25, 2007
Friday, August 24, 2007
I went to bed at 3:30am and then, and then, subsequently up at 7:30am for work.
WHY?
Sooo GLAD you asked.
b/c I came home at 1:30am to a bathtub almost filled to the brim with water...the water knobs would not turn off, so the water was freely running, and the tub was not draining AT ALL...I had to get a big bowl and scoop water out and pour it down the sink numerous times so it would not overflow and cause serious water damage. Since it is not my apt, I did not have any management numbers and the super was not answering his door despite my frequent pounding and doorbell ringing (in all fairness, it WAS 1:30 in the morning). My friend S, who lived there until last Saturday and is one the lease (thus, would have the much needed management numbers) was not answering her phone. I woke the other roomie up...but she is subletting too so she had no numbers either. Her suggestion was to take turns continually scooping out water until the morning when we could get in contact with the management.
erm...noooo
I eventually got a hold of G who lived there in June, and got the number: the household management team was not in (DUH, 1:30 in the morning), but it did say, for tenants ER, press one, so I did, AND got another recording.
anywhoo, G and his AWESOME self came over at 2am and figured out a way to jerry-rig it so the water stopped running.
so, I am sitting here at work, un-showered, (does baby wiping count?) trying to figure out a way to sleep with my eyes open.
And S is like let's go daaaancing tonight in the meatpacking district!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ha.
ZZZZZZZ + ME = HAPPYHAPPYJOYJOY
is what I am doing tonight.
Oh, and when S called the Management company this morning to tell them what happened, their response was, “What do you want us to do about it?”
good times. good times.
email me! you know you wanna: heydreamergirl@yahoo.com
WHY?
Sooo GLAD you asked.
b/c I came home at 1:30am to a bathtub almost filled to the brim with water...the water knobs would not turn off, so the water was freely running, and the tub was not draining AT ALL...I had to get a big bowl and scoop water out and pour it down the sink numerous times so it would not overflow and cause serious water damage. Since it is not my apt, I did not have any management numbers and the super was not answering his door despite my frequent pounding and doorbell ringing (in all fairness, it WAS 1:30 in the morning). My friend S, who lived there until last Saturday and is one the lease (thus, would have the much needed management numbers) was not answering her phone. I woke the other roomie up...but she is subletting too so she had no numbers either. Her suggestion was to take turns continually scooping out water until the morning when we could get in contact with the management.
erm...noooo
I eventually got a hold of G who lived there in June, and got the number: the household management team was not in (DUH, 1:30 in the morning), but it did say, for tenants ER, press one, so I did, AND got another recording.
anywhoo, G and his AWESOME self came over at 2am and figured out a way to jerry-rig it so the water stopped running.
so, I am sitting here at work, un-showered, (does baby wiping count?) trying to figure out a way to sleep with my eyes open.
And S is like let's go daaaancing tonight in the meatpacking district!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ha.
ZZZZZZZ + ME = HAPPYHAPPYJOYJOY
is what I am doing tonight.
Oh, and when S called the Management company this morning to tell them what happened, their response was, “What do you want us to do about it?”
good times. good times.
email me! you know you wanna: heydreamergirl@yahoo.com
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Had dinner on the lower east side last night with friends whom I have not seen in a hot minute (can I pull that off? Saying hot minute? anywhoo):
A snippet of our conversation:
B: Yeah, I’m going to need the keys to your old apt, and the keys to your new apt.
Me: Ha.
R: Why?
S: Oh, and my uncle needs to know when he should come.
R: WHAT?
Me: Ok.
A: I might be a life coach on MTV’s Made!
R: What does S’s uncle have to do with anything?
C: guuuuys pay attention to my So. African slide show!
And it all made sense to me.
PS: love you GG!!
email me! you know you wanna: heydreamergirl@yahoo.com
A snippet of our conversation:
B: Yeah, I’m going to need the keys to your old apt, and the keys to your new apt.
Me: Ha.
R: Why?
S: Oh, and my uncle needs to know when he should come.
R: WHAT?
Me: Ok.
A: I might be a life coach on MTV’s Made!
R: What does S’s uncle have to do with anything?
C: guuuuys pay attention to my So. African slide show!
And it all made sense to me.
PS: love you GG!!
email me! you know you wanna: heydreamergirl@yahoo.com
One of my best friends in high school was absolutely gorgeous, incredibly sweet, but really insecure. She always had to be in a relationship and pretty much morphed into whatever type of guy she was dating—for example, if the guy liked punk rock (‘scuse me, rawk) then she became punk, alternatively, if the guy was into classical music all of a sudden she would become sophisticated and her taste in music, wardrobe, attitude would all shift. Fast-forward to the present day…I have not spoken to her in years, we just kinda drifted apart after high school as we grew older and increasingly different.
Sooooo.
I just found her myspace…her latest boyfriend is erm…wait for it…a muscle-man. Yes, the whole shebang::: the orange ommpa-loompa tan, bleached veneers, huge honking muscles, and the nickname “Alpha-Male” to boot. So guess what my childhood friend is now? A muscle-woman. She has the orange tan, is super bulked up and competing in muscle competitions, with bleached white veneers as well. This would be hilarious if it was somebody else, ANYBODY else, but this is MY childhood friend, with the orange skin, fake florescent teeth, expanding muscles and empty eyes. MY friend that never believed it whenever I told her she was amazing, MY friend who compared her self-worth to how much the guy in her life paid attention to her.
no.
This is not funny at all.
email me! you know you wanna: heydreamergirl@yahoo.com
Sooooo.
I just found her myspace…her latest boyfriend is erm…wait for it…a muscle-man. Yes, the whole shebang::: the orange ommpa-loompa tan, bleached veneers, huge honking muscles, and the nickname “Alpha-Male” to boot. So guess what my childhood friend is now? A muscle-woman. She has the orange tan, is super bulked up and competing in muscle competitions, with bleached white veneers as well. This would be hilarious if it was somebody else, ANYBODY else, but this is MY childhood friend, with the orange skin, fake florescent teeth, expanding muscles and empty eyes. MY friend that never believed it whenever I told her she was amazing, MY friend who compared her self-worth to how much the guy in her life paid attention to her.
no.
This is not funny at all.
email me! you know you wanna: heydreamergirl@yahoo.com
Saturday, August 18, 2007
random e-mail ((#1)) from my pink shirt wearing Scottish boss::
"In the light of recent events, and as we looking to add a couple of people to teamXXXX, the thought occurred to me that we should have a “what does it take to be in teamXXXX?” type question.
Obviously a collective hatred for Scottish people in pink shirts goes without saying.
However, what defines the work environment? How do we all get on?
In a recent conversation with Project ManagerXXXX it occurred to me – Mike Judge’s Office Space. Mandatory viewing of this. An understanding of the dialogue:
Bob: Peter – describe a typical day for you
Peter: Well, I generally come in 15 minutes late, usually through the side door so that my boss doesn’t notice. I then turn on my computer and just kind of phase out.
Bob: What do you mean, phase out?
Peter: well, I just kind of stare at my computer screen. It gives the illusion I am working, but I am not actually doing anything. Then I go for lunch, come back late and head home early. So, in general, in any given day, I probably only do about 15 minutes actual work
This is not the exact wording, but the best I can do from memory.
So, questions for future candidates:
What kind of stapler is the bone of contention?
How does Peter increase his office space?
What is the track to beat up on a fax machine?
What is an “O” face?
How do you get the financing to eventually get funding to create a “Jump to conclusions mat”?
Is Jennifer Anniston tolerable in this movie?
What is the minimum amount of flare that should be worn?
Any other questions that you can think of would be greatly appreciated.
If you have not seen this film, you should. Then look up around you in Company XXXX. It is better even than “Waiting”, which as anyone that has been a waiter/waitress knows – never mess with someone that is delivering food that you will consume.
BossXXXX"
email me! you know you wanna: heydreamergirl@yahoo.com
"In the light of recent events, and as we looking to add a couple of people to teamXXXX, the thought occurred to me that we should have a “what does it take to be in teamXXXX?” type question.
Obviously a collective hatred for Scottish people in pink shirts goes without saying.
However, what defines the work environment? How do we all get on?
In a recent conversation with Project ManagerXXXX it occurred to me – Mike Judge’s Office Space. Mandatory viewing of this. An understanding of the dialogue:
Bob: Peter – describe a typical day for you
Peter: Well, I generally come in 15 minutes late, usually through the side door so that my boss doesn’t notice. I then turn on my computer and just kind of phase out.
Bob: What do you mean, phase out?
Peter: well, I just kind of stare at my computer screen. It gives the illusion I am working, but I am not actually doing anything. Then I go for lunch, come back late and head home early. So, in general, in any given day, I probably only do about 15 minutes actual work
This is not the exact wording, but the best I can do from memory.
So, questions for future candidates:
What kind of stapler is the bone of contention?
How does Peter increase his office space?
What is the track to beat up on a fax machine?
What is an “O” face?
How do you get the financing to eventually get funding to create a “Jump to conclusions mat”?
Is Jennifer Anniston tolerable in this movie?
What is the minimum amount of flare that should be worn?
Any other questions that you can think of would be greatly appreciated.
If you have not seen this film, you should. Then look up around you in Company XXXX. It is better even than “Waiting”, which as anyone that has been a waiter/waitress knows – never mess with someone that is delivering food that you will consume.
BossXXXX"
email me! you know you wanna: heydreamergirl@yahoo.com
My friends think I am peculiar (well, more so than normal) for steering clear of building windows above me when moseying down the street. Peculiar? Hummmph. Lemme tell you a lil’ story….
…Last summer I was a Drama T.A. for 72 “at-risk” 2nd graders. Two of the precocious little darlings decided it would hilarious to pee out of the bathroom window. Now mind you, they were second graders, thus rather short…and the window was pretty high up...so they had to aim preetty darn carefully. And aim those little fellas did, right out of the window onto the construction workers below. How I was expected to punish them whilst keeping a straight face was beyond me.
Anywhoo, this is why I do not walk under windows…because on a hot summer day those air conditioners are dripping water like crazy onto the passer-bys below—and even though I know logically that it is water—there is a part of me that will now forever, subconsciously or not, associate liquid coming out of windows as pee—so I’ll just stick to walking on the opposite side of the sidewalk thank-you.
email me! you know you wanna: heydreamergirl@yahoo.com
…Last summer I was a Drama T.A. for 72 “at-risk” 2nd graders. Two of the precocious little darlings decided it would hilarious to pee out of the bathroom window. Now mind you, they were second graders, thus rather short…and the window was pretty high up...so they had to aim preetty darn carefully. And aim those little fellas did, right out of the window onto the construction workers below. How I was expected to punish them whilst keeping a straight face was beyond me.
Anywhoo, this is why I do not walk under windows…because on a hot summer day those air conditioners are dripping water like crazy onto the passer-bys below—and even though I know logically that it is water—there is a part of me that will now forever, subconsciously or not, associate liquid coming out of windows as pee—so I’ll just stick to walking on the opposite side of the sidewalk thank-you.
email me! you know you wanna: heydreamergirl@yahoo.com
Friday, August 10, 2007
I am taking an comedy improv class at the Upright Citizen’s Brigade…which is a theatre troop founded by veteran SNL cast members. Last night was my first night—it was three hours of sheer joy and laughing. Plus, doing things that were absolutely mortifying, such as singing all by myself with everyone watching….and we were not allowed to be goofy when we sang…we had to take it seriously…did I mention this was the very first exercise? Sheesh…welcome to improv…check your fear at the door.
So my teacher, Ari said some pretty profound things. He’s kinda deep for a funny man.
One was “improvement comes from demystifying failure.”
Word.
The other thing he talked about was not following our instincts 100% but only 50%. This is contrary to everything I have been taught. However, as he further explained, due to our own personal insecurity from being human, half of our instincts are negative. So he told us he wants us to avoid the instincts that are going to “drag you down and make you ordinary.”
Word.
email me! you know you wanna: heydreamergirl@yahoo.com
So my teacher, Ari said some pretty profound things. He’s kinda deep for a funny man.
One was “improvement comes from demystifying failure.”
Word.
The other thing he talked about was not following our instincts 100% but only 50%. This is contrary to everything I have been taught. However, as he further explained, due to our own personal insecurity from being human, half of our instincts are negative. So he told us he wants us to avoid the instincts that are going to “drag you down and make you ordinary.”
Word.
email me! you know you wanna: heydreamergirl@yahoo.com
Melissa.
Melissa called me a lot.
She told me I was the only one who called her back.
Melissa loved Jesus.
Melissa was not well.
She was needy.
Sometimes she made no sense.
I could not handle Melissa.
I was in a sad space.
Melissa disappeared one day.
Left behind everything.
Went missing for three weeks.
Turns out she had amnesia.
Went to a hospital.
Family notified, going to make everything better.
Seasons went by.
Forgot about Melissa.
Well.
She was in the back of my head.
That's where I kept her.
In the back.
She called once.
Four months ago in April.
I was in a happy space.
I remember what I said.
But I don't remember what she said.
Things were ok.
I think that's what she said.
Things were ok.
Didn't she say that?
Then she stopped calling.
I thought about her two weeks ago.
She randomly popped into my head.
But I no longer had her info.
So I moved on.
Did not give it a second thought.
Then I thought about her again.
One week later.
Did not try to find her info.
Did not give it another passing thought.
One week after that I receive a call.
Melissa committed suicide
one week ago.
Melissa is in Jesus's arms now
Melissa called me a lot.
She told me I was the only one who called her back.
Melissa loved Jesus.
Melissa was not well.
She was needy.
Sometimes she made no sense.
I could not handle Melissa.
I was in a sad space.
Melissa disappeared one day.
Left behind everything.
Went missing for three weeks.
Turns out she had amnesia.
Went to a hospital.
Family notified, going to make everything better.
Seasons went by.
Forgot about Melissa.
Well.
She was in the back of my head.
That's where I kept her.
In the back.
She called once.
Four months ago in April.
I was in a happy space.
I remember what I said.
But I don't remember what she said.
Things were ok.
I think that's what she said.
Things were ok.
Didn't she say that?
Then she stopped calling.
I thought about her two weeks ago.
She randomly popped into my head.
But I no longer had her info.
So I moved on.
Did not give it a second thought.
Then I thought about her again.
One week later.
Did not try to find her info.
Did not give it another passing thought.
One week after that I receive a call.
Melissa committed suicide
one week ago.
Melissa is in Jesus's arms now
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